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                to our free email news The Beattie Files: First love and a very warm ride This was the precise
                      moment when I knew I was doomed to ride
                      motorcycles for the rest of my life. I was totally
                      absorbed in the experience  (Ed's
                note: These are excerpts from young Beattie's book on
                some of the more colourful incidents in an action-packed
                life. See the end of the piece for more info.) (Jan 2024, Chris Beattie) .jpg) 
 “It’s an Ajay mate,
                    needs a bit of work, but most of it is there as far
                    as I can tell.” It was covered in
                    dust, overspray and cobwebs and lay forlorn and
                    neglected in a dark corner of the panelbeater’s
                    workshop. To anyone else it might have looked like a
                    rusting relic beyond hope and mercy, but to me it
                    was a veritable jewel. I was 14 at the time and
                    needed a bike. Badly. I’d been bitten by the
                    motorcycle bug after my mate Bruce turned up one day
                    on a BSA 125 Bantam and let me take it for a flog
                    around the local dirt roads where we lived 40km
                    north of Auckland. 
 I’d been doing a bit
                    of hay-bailing over the summer to earn some pocket
                    money so I handed over the princely sum of $25, my
                    panelbeater mate even delivering the 1946 AJS 500
                    single to my home at no extra cost.  
 
 Nevertheless, I was
                    totally absorbed by the task of getting the Ajay
                    going. Which for the first week or so involved
                    attempting to roll-start it down the side driveway
                    at the side of our property, which was perched on
                    the slope of a hill in farmland near the Pacific
                    coast. Each time it stubbornly and frustratingly
                    refused to utter even one hint of any internal
                    combustion from the battle-scared big single
                    cylinder engine. And of course, each and every
                    attempt at getting it going also required pushing it
                    back up
                    the dirt driveway to the garage behind our house. If
                    nothing else, it was great exercise, even if a
                    little unfulfilling for the most part. But with some help
                    from a few older mates, including Bruce who owned
                    the Bantam and who had just started a mechanics
                    apprenticeship, we eventually figured out that a new
                    sparkplug might help. Next time down the driveway it
                    went bang … followed by more bangs. Given that the
                    previous two weeks’ efforts had produced no signs of
                    life, I was initially somewhat surprised to hear the
                    motor actually running. I was equally surprised to
                    note that the uncovered clutch, which was now
                    spinning mere millimetres from my bare foot,
                    appeared to be inoperable. The situation was highly
                    inconvenient given my progress down the driveway was
                    increasing rapidly. At the time we lived on a gravel
                    road, with deep drainage ditches on both sides, one
                    of which I was now approaching. Another inconvenience
                    that I discovered a second or two before impact was
                    that we had somehow fitted the footbrake pedal over the
                    footrest so there was not enough travel to operate
                    the brake. I was told later that
                    my somersault over the handlebars was quite
                    dramatic. The front wheel of the Ajay dug into the
                    clay bank directly opposite the driveway so the bike
                    stopped instantly – while I, plainly, didn’t.
                    Fortunately, the land on the other side of the road
                    was vacant, save for some scrub and a couple of
                    trees, so at least I had a pretty soft landing. But I was so elated
                    that we at least now had the engine running, that I
                    barely noticed a couple of grazes and bruises. We
                    pushed the bike back up the driveway and
                    repositioned the foot brake pedal, as well as
                    adjusting the clutch cable. This time around Bruce
                    was in the saddle (we had crafted a seat by wrapping
                    a strip of shagpile carpet around the frame) as we
                    pushed her back down the drive. It fired first time
                    and as I stood by and watched, Bruce and the Ajay
                    disappeared up the road in a cloud of gravel dust
                    and engine smoke. Since I had yet to find an exhaust
                    system, it was also making a hell of a racket. I was
                    beyond excited and could hardly wait for Bruce’s
                    return. He eventually
                    re-emerged out of the cloud and after making a
                    couple more adjustments, pronounced the bike ready
                    for my first ride. Plunging back down the driveway,
                    with hands on bars and heart in mouth, I dropped the
                    clutch and felt and heard the big thumper fire up. I
                    was on my way! This was the precise
                    moment when I knew I was doomed to ride motorcycles
                    for the rest of my life. I was totally absorbed in
                    the experience as I rode all over the countryside,
                    including along a couple of the local beaches, until
                    the engine coughed and I switched over to the
                    reserve fuel tank. I turned for home and barely
                    stopped long enough to top up the tank before we
                    were off again.  
 Over the following few
                    months I managed to round up an exhaust pipe here, a
                    headlight there and various other parts until the
                    old Ajay almost resembled a street-legal bike,
                    although I never did get around to registering it. I
                    had the occasional close shave with local cops, but
                    inevitably managed to make good my escape by
                    diverting across local paddocks or going for the
                    occasional ride along a beach or over sand dunes.
                    Which is how I also learned quite a bit about
                    riding, particularly over the pretty agricultural
                    local roads. A small group of us
                    used to hit the road on weekends and venture a
                    little further afield, which is when I first had
                    contact with the Hells Angels, which had a chapter
                    on Auckland’s north shore, not far from home. One
                    member in particular, Will Dillon, a Maori guy with
                    a pirate-style metal hook for a hand, seemed to take
                    pity on me and actually helped me tidy up some
                    mechanical defects on the bike and offered the
                    occasional tip on how to deal with the cops whenever
                    I got caught. Mixing with some of
                    the other members soon exposed me to a more adult
                    social circle – which resulted in a couple of other
                    major incidents detailed elsewhere in this book. But
                    I remember one in particular when a couple of
                    members offered to accompany me to the local police
                    station for my licence test. Directly across the
                    road from the cop shop was the Wade River Hotel, a
                    pretty basic drinking establishment in the nearby
                    village of Silverdale, which was one of the first
                    pubs in New Zealand to bolt its furniture to the
                    floor and only serve plastic drinking vessels due to
                    the tendency of patrons to use them as weapons. The
                    floors were bare boards and all the windows were
                    barred. The only thing harder than the pub were the
                    crowds that drank there. On this particular day
                    I rode on the back of Filthy Phil’s Triumph
                    Bonneville. The idea was that I’d use Filthy’s bike
                    for the licence test, since it was registered, but
                    instead of pulling up at the police station, we
                    parked in front of the hotel. “I reckon ya need a
                    beer to steady ya nerves for the test,” advised
                    Phil. “You’ve got a few minutes to spare so no
                    fuckin’ stress mate,” he grinned, exposing two rows
                    of discoloured and broken teeth. A calming ale seemed
                    fine by me because I was a little nervous about the
                    test given that the licencing cop was known to be a
                    stickler for the rulebook and didn’t particularly
                    like ‘bikies’. After downing a couple
                    of beers, I realized that I was already a few
                    minutes late for the test so rushed out of the pub
                    and across the road, leaving Filthy to keep the
                    barmaid occupied. “What the fuck do you
                    want?” sneered the tester. We’ll call him Constable
                    Bastard. “I’m here to do my
                    licence,” I grinned. “No you’re fucking
                    not,” was the curt reply as he continued to look
                    down at some official paperwork. “I saw you just
                    came out of the pub. As far as I’m concerned, if
                    you’re on the piss you’re not fit to take the test. “And another thing, I
                    noticed you pulled up on the back of that sod
                    Filthy’s bike. Don’t bother coming back unless
                    you’re on your own. He’s fucking bad news mate. Do
                    yourself a favour and find another riding mate.” Advice which I
                    ignored, of course. I was enjoying riding and
                    partying with Filthy, Will and a few of the other
                    local wild men, and despite being the youngest in
                    the group I was treated pretty well. They even
                    helped me work on the bike and taught me how to fix
                    the occasional breakdown, which was a fairly regular
                    occurrence on the Ajay. One thing English bikes
                    weren’t known for was reliability, so I never left
                    home without a good supply of spare parts and tools. 
   Eventually I got my
                    licence and a few months later I was offered an AJS
                    CSR 650 twin, a much more powerful bike that came
                    complete with registration. But, similar to the old
                    500, it still needed some work. For a start, it had
                    a large 6-volt car battery lashed to the seat with
                    ocky straps, had no mufflers and a slight knocking
                    noise which, memorably, became a broken crankshaft
                    as I was riding across the Auckland Harbour Bridge a
                    few weeks later. On another occasion,
                    it blew a head gasket just as I was leaving the
                    mechanical workshop where I had started an engine
                    reconditioning apprenticeship. It wouldn’t have been
                    such a big deal except a portion of the head gasket
                    exited the engine and sliced through the fuel line.
                    Which in itself also wouldn’t have been such a big
                    deal – except that sparks from the engine then
                    ignited the escaping stream of fuel. All of a sudden
                    I was mounted on a two-wheeled flame thrower! With traffic backing
                    up as flames spewed onto the road, I quickly
                    assessed my options. I knew the fuel tank wasn’t
                    bolted onto the frame, so leaned the bike on its
                    sidestand, lifted the tank off the bike – with the
                    fuel line still pouring out liquid flame -- and
                    thought for an instant about throwing it off a
                    nearby railway bridge onto the tracks below. 
 Luckily, there was a
                    motorcycle shop a block down the road. One of the
                    customers had seen what was going on and alerted the
                    manager, who came running up with a fire
                    extinguisher. He quickly snuffed out the fire and
                    left me to consider my next move. I could have left
                    the bike at work and arranged a lift home, but it
                    was a Friday night and there was a ride on over the
                    weekend that I didn’t want to miss. I had a close look at
                    the engine and realized that I might just be able to
                    nurse it home. All I needed was another length of
                    fuel line. I managed to get to
                    the bike shop just as the manager was locking up. “Mate, thanks for
                    helping out back there,” I said. “Ummm, I’ve had a
                    look over the bike and I reckon I should be able to
                    get it home if I can just get another length of fuel
                    line,” I explained, laying the still smoking length
                    of plastic tube on the counter. The manager prodded
                    the smouldering, blackened fuel line, before looking
                    at me and shaking his head. “Mate, firstly,
                    there’s no fuckin’ way known I’m selling you another
                    fuel line. That fuckin’ thing will go up again as
                    sure as shit,” he said. “Wheel the fuckin’ thing
                    over here and I’ll look at it in the morning.” Which is what I did.
                    Ultimately, the 650 and I spent a few happy months
                    together travelling all over the North Island,
                    before I eventually sold it to move to Australia. But I still look back
                    fondly on the old 500. It was an angry, evil, ornery
                    mongrel of a bike that tried to kill me on more than
                    one occasion, and left me regularly stranded on the
                    side of the road. But a bit like a first romance, it
                    set a flame in my soul that no fire extinguisher
                    will ever put out. 
 (More to come...)  The excerpt is from Beattie's wild and woolly book. So far as we know it's had one brief print run and he's threatening to do another. Watch this space. In the meantime he can be contacted by email. 
 More at The
                  Beattie Files home page 
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