Guido discovers that image is everything…
It’s uncertain exactly how this came about, but I recently decided the bike fleet needed a serious cull. Maybe it was the fact that I seemed to be spending more time charging batteries than riding some bikes, which finally brought home that things had got out of control. In any case, I was reaching the reluctant conclusion that maybe you can have too many machines. That was about the time I was trying to bump-start the Hannibal the Hayabusa – an exercise which I definitely do not recommend.
There are 11 bikes in the family fleet – four dirt and seven road. Most of them are mine: Hannibal, the 1200 Daytona, Mac the Valk, the R65 Bimm, an old TT600, plus the sodding sidecar – a GS1000G which has been nothing but trouble in recent years. Some of them are, for various reasons, a protected species. Daughter Ms M jnr is likely to start removing my toenails in my sleep if the sidecar is sold, while the BMW is mine in name only (a long story).
But in a rash moment I decided everything else was potentially up for sale and began looking at the alternatives. One was simply flogging the lot and buying one machine that could cover everything I do. This had enormous appeal – mostly because I would be sending a whole lot less money to the thieves in the state government by way of registrations and bike taxes. Oh, and there’d be some cash left over – something that seems to be in permanently short supply of late.
I made the mistake of running this idea past the daughters, along with some of the models I had in mind, and copped a classic tag-team earful that still has my head ringing. Two of my prime candidates were BMW’s R1200GS and Honda’s ST1300 – both are able to carry two people with hard luggage and capable of a serious turn of speed when asked. Good all-rounders, albeit with somewhat different takes on the theme. And both companies would be horrified by the girls’ response.
One, when I mentioned the Bimm alternative, did an imitation (more of a mockery, actually) of the upright riding position and started chanting something about broomsticks up arses. Charming – I hasten to add that this is definitely not something I have taught them. Okay, what about the Honda? “Same thing, different broomstick,” opined one. So, we can scratch the somewhat…err…conservative models off the possibility list, can we? A K1200S and Fireblade would have got very different responses.
It turned out that neither of them wanted Hannibal to go. Ms A because she has an ambition to step off her CB250 and take the Hayabusa for a spin when she gets her full licence (an idea which is enough to give anyone waking nightmares), and both of them because it would be bad for their image. Eh? They come for the occasional ride on the back, but how does this work? Surely at 21 and 19 they’re old enough to know better.
Apparently not. It seems that a fair number of the parents in their social group own motorcycles and it’s significant for their self-image that Dad has a decent motorcycle. (They’ve given up on spouse Ms M, who insists on letting the side down by riding her ancient CBX550.)
So the girls decided to get my mind right. They correctly spotted that the Daytona is something of a sentimental favourite and I’d regret offloading that, while they strenuously objected to selling Hannibal. In fact they resorted to mockery: “Why don’t you just go and get a Harley, like all the other dads?”
“Yeah Dad,” chimed in the other, “Then you could look really cool – like this,” the little wretch offered while doing a somewhat lurid imitation of a chopper riding position. Again, sorry H-D, this is not something I taught them.
Okay, so it seems that Mac the Valk and the TT are heading for the classified pages. Sad, but the truth is I’m doing almost no long two-up rides these days (the ‘ladies’ are generally otherwise engaged) and bugger-all dirt riding. I hate selling bikes, but things have got a little out of control.
Oh and I did spot this rather tasty classic bike recently – but I’ll leave that story for another day…
You’re always welcome to get in touch via the palatial MT offices at locked bag 12, Oakleigh 3166, or on the wire at guy.allen@traderclassifieds.com.au.
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