You may have tried it. There we were hurtling under the billboard in Turn 3 at Phillip Island - the GSX-R750 and me - and I was feeling suitably chuffed at cracking the 205km/h mark in that corner. Which will probably have your pukka racer type guffawing with mirth, but for me it was an achievement.
So far as I'm concerned, that corner's fixed and it's now time to move on to the other five that I regularly cock up. You see each time I get to the isle, I try to make a point of fixing up one aspect of my laps - and only one. Mostly because I get bored. One of the downsides of riding on a racetrack is the scenery doesn't change. Can't they fix that?
Anyhow the problem areas are Siberia, the Hayshed, Turn 11 (where, a couple of years ago, I very nearly became the first person in Australia to bin a Honda VTR1000SP2) and Turn 12. Actually Southern Loop could also do with a little more work.
Given I get to do a track session every couple of years, it should only take a decade to get into a position where I might be able to string together a whole lap.
There's also a fair argument that the problem is lack of raw talent, oh and the fact I'm around 190cm tall and weigh 110 kilos. Let's just say the junk filter on the email does not include the term "race contract offer".
Actually the frustrating thing is I'm unsure whether the progress is down to me or the motorcycle. For example the new GSX-R750 (owners of 2003 models are gonna hate me saying this) really is a significant advance on the 'old' chap and I've no doubt that its increased corner-stuffing abilities are a major factor in the progress. Maybe I should give up the two-yearly track sessions and just wait for the 2014 model launch...
Somewhat disturbingly, during the Suzuki-fest (on Gardner Straight, if I remember right) this thought popped into mind: "Must take the Enfield for a spin when I get home." What's that about racers and focus? So apart from height, weight and lack of talent, having a mind which acts like a cricket overdosing on speed is probably not a great asset for this sort of work.
Where were we? Oh yes, on Gardner straight, astride 17 grand's worth of Suzuki's finest while it was shrieking its way up to redline, contemplating a putt around the suburbs on an Indian single. It was only because I hadn't spent much time on the Enfield and really needed to get to know it better before the distributor worked out I lived.
Sure enough, having scared myself silly at the Island, I retired to Chateau Mortgage and took the Bullet out for a gallop. Talk about extremes. Two hours before I'd been hurtling about at speeds well in excess of 200, and now I was on something that wouldn't crack the double ton unless you pushed it over a cliff. We'd lost three cylinders, fourteen valves and, according to their respective factory stats, 126 horsepower. And it was still a hoot. Riding the (coincidentally) new and improved five-speed Enfield really is a pleasure, so long as you're in the right frame of mind.
To paraphrase an old line, having multiple personalities isn't compulsory in this job, but it helps.

Guy "Guido" Allen