Universal
Soldier
The invoice from
my local rego folk confirms that it’s two years since I bought Gerald over
the net – it’s funny how time flies. Without the evidence to the contrary,
I’d swear it was last month that I was discussing exchanging prisoners
(my cheque for his bike) with the former owner.
Mr G hasn’t done a huge amount of kays – about 10,000 – in that
time, but you need to remember there are several other pits for money casually
slouching under the dust covers at Chateau Guido. There are times when I walk
out into the backyard and all I can here is “Ride me!” “Register
me!” “Service me!” and so on. That’s in between the kids,
dogs and cat demanding attention for similar reasons. Actually, it’s usually
“Feed me!” and “Give me money!” in the cases of those who
have legs.
Norm, who with Bernadette was proprietor of the general store of aptly-named
Mt Hope last I heard, once told me he was a support module for a Meriden Triumph
– and, some days, I know exactly how he felt.
Of the various mouths and fuel tanks that have been demanding attention over
recent months, Gerald’s has been one of the least demanding. He’s
a 1981 GS1000G Suzuki, and has featured on these pages before as an example
of buying something useful and cheap. Well, relatively cheap.
He cost $1150, if you didn’t include the transport, a few minor repairs,
a full service, roadworthy, new tyres and a topbox. That lot put his cost up
to high twos. The folk at Stafford Motorcycles in sunny Melb basically did the
job for me – I didn’t have the time and it ended up being easier to
leave it with professionals. And maybe cheaper because I wasn’t losing
money-earning time at my real work in the process.
Perhaps the most telling thing about Gerald is that he’s still in the garage.
I’m a sucker when it comes to buying motorcycles, and it should be a constant
source of regret for the motorcycle industry that my income never quite matches
ambition. Nevertheless I’ve found ways to change bikes at only slightly
lower frequency than underwear in recent years, often with recent demo models
rather than something straight out of the crate.
In theory Gerald was going to replace a Blackbird (and whoever’s sniggering
up the back there can shut the hell up for a minute) but was saved by an equally
dumb idea that he’d go well with Mac the Valk – the Interstate full-dress
tourer. And I haven’t the faintest idea what “go well with” means
any more. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. Just like the one where
I’d get Rocinante (pronounced “ross-in-an-tee” for those still
catching up) the ’94 Triumph Dayt 12, coz…err…umm…well…it
was faster than all the others and was very yellow. Which I have to admit is
a reason that any responsible bank manager would view as ample justification
to call in the idiot-catching squad from the local psychiatric hospital. Fortunately,
they don’t seem to exist any more – responsible bank managers, that
is.
Something that’s worth mentioning is that Gerald’s cost rose by $600
when I had him repainted in silver – to match the other GS that’s
hauling a sidecar. Anyone who has lots of regos to pay will work out why. But
that idea took his cost past the $3000 mark – about double what he’s
really worth.
And then there was the suspension. Spannerman suggested taking the nice and
relatively new Konis off the custom-made Earles-fork front of the outfit, and
swap them for the rooted items on Gerald’s rear. Weirdly, that worked a
treat. The outfit actually feels more responsive, and so does Gerald. Sidecar
handling theorists out there might want to pitch in on this, as it has me completely
mystified.
The recent additions to the garage have gone uncomfortably close to sending
yours etc close to the poor house, but Gerald is proving to be a survivor. Mostly
because he’s truly a gentle giant. Margaret did a tour on him recently
and loved it. Comfy, predictable and able to hold any speed she wants –
which means up to a steady 130-140 in the right environs. Her only requirement
was that I dropped the rear suspension preload so she could get her flippers
on terra firma.
She uses one of her two CBX550s during the week, which means I crank Gerald’s
preload up again, and pilot same to the thought factory as a daily ride.
At 78,000km, Mr G is about 10,000 away from another major service. It has shaft
drive, motorcycling’s best-ever seat, the tyres are old-style narrow items
that don’t cost a bomb, and its fuel needs are reasonable.
I now own better stuff for the job, but have used Mr G’s near relatives
as sports bikes over the years and enjoyed them enormously – even though
they can’t match the grip and finesse of later kit. Though all too often
it’s the rider and not the kit which makes the bike, as Spannerman will
be all too happy to prove on his similar machine.
Gerald has found his last shed, as he’s useful – and, frankly, he’s
not worth selling. Why swap something that one rider can enjoy as tourer, and
another as commuter, or even as sport bike when it’s a really hot day,
for under a couple of grand? He’s not the last of the breed – there
are others out there in current bike catalogues. Machines that can turn their
hand to most things, and provide a lot of satisfaction.
Though they’re rarely headliners and, as leisure has taken over from function
in the market, are becoming increasingly thin on the ground. I suspect the newer
breed of all-road bikes, lead by BMW’s GS series, will take over the patch
in the used market. But then it might be later and rarer items like Yamaha’s
XJ900 Diversion, which is the closest recent equivalent to Gerald.
In any case, there was a time when Universal Japanese Motorcycle was a perjorative
term. The more bikes that I ride and own, the more I regret the derision. When
you look at what those machines did, and continue to do, they deserve better
description. Let’s raise a glass to Gerald and his ilk, the universal soldiers.
Guy "Guido" Allen
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